Life's waiting to begin

The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. The "dot" over the letter "i" is called a tittle. Table tennis balls have been known to travel off the paddle at speeds up to 160 km/hr. Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name. The original story from "Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights" begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy." Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life. What about milk you say? A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living. The most common name in the world is Mohammed. The volume of the Earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean. Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster than the rest of us. Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights us...

Once upon a time a man had heard, that in a foreign place, far away, there was a holy flame burning. So he left his home to find the holy flame and bring some of its light back home to his house. He thought: 'When I have this light, then I will have happiness and life and all the people I love will have it too.' He traveled far, far away and finally found the holy flame, with which he lit his light. On his way back he had only one worry: 'That his light could go out.' On his way home he met someone who was freezing and didn't have any fire and who begged him to give him some of his fire. The man with the light hesitated for a moment. Wasn't his light too precious, too holy to be given away for something ordinary like that? Despite these doubts, he decided to give some of his light to the one who was freezing in the darkness. During his journey, a great thunderstorm started. He tried to protect his light from the rain and the storm, but at the end his light went ...

Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, " Ma'am, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor answers. The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise." Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2. Nothing improves with age. 3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. 4. Sex has no calories. 5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. 6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. 7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. 8. No sex with anyone in the same office. 9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. 10. A man in the house is worth two in the street. 11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. 12. Virginity can be cured. 13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him. 14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. 15. The qualities t...

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There was once a truck driver who was almost always on the road. One particular day he was driving along a route that he had done a few times before. Up the road a bit he sees a man dressed from head to toe in yellow. This yellow dressed man was seemingly waving and motioning to him to get him to stop so, he complied and stopped the truck. "Hi, can I help you?" asked the truck driver. "Yes, I am the Yellow Rascal of the road and I want something to drink and I want it now!!" "Geez, alright, relax," said the truck driver. He then went into his truck looked around and found a soda, handed it to him, and then continued on his way. A while later along the same highway, he came across a second man who this time was dressed from head to toe in red. Again, this man was signaling to him to stop. So, wondering what this man wanted he stopped his truck. "Hi, can I help you sir?" asked the truck driver. "Yes, I am the Red Rascal of the road and I want ...

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man ?" The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!" The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!" The first blonde hun...